By Darnell Washington, Newsophile Staff Writer
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- With many political pundits predicting that 88-year-old Supreme Court justice John Paul Stevens was waiting until the 2008 election results were in before announcing his retirement from the bench, the current question in Washington circles today is "When?"
Stevens, considered a liberal member of the Court but actually nominated by President Gerald Ford in 1975 and subsequently confirmed 98-0 by the Senate, is remaining silent for now on the subject but has hinted at pursuing some post-Supreme Court interests.
"I think it's finally time for me to 'sow my wild oats,'"Stevens recently told The Washington Post. "Between serving in The Great War, getting married at 22 and then starting a law practice, I never got to participate in those crazy orgies of the 60s and 70s, although I would sometimes fantasize about them when fornicating with my first wife, Elizabeth."
Stevens, an avid tennis player, also intends to travel and spend more time with second wife MaryAn, whom he married in 1979. "She's actually quite adventurous for a woman her age, and for years has talked about something called 'a Dirty Sanchez," he confided in a close friend who wishes to remain anonymous. "But that's kid stuff. I'm ready for a little swinging, a bit of the 'Angry Dragon,' and my personal favorite, receiving a good old-fashioned 'blumpkin.' Then I can die a happy man with both empty bowels and balls."