Tuesday, June 19, 2018

Stephen Miller caught masturbating while listening to immigrant children crying for their parents

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By Darnell Washington, Newsophile Staff Writer WASHINGTON -- According to several White House sources, Stephen Miller, who has been Spec...
Friday, December 8, 2017

GOP plans to rename itself Government of Pedophiles

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By Darnell Washington, Newsophile Staff Writer WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Bowing to pressure among its rank and file that pursuing romantic relat...
Tuesday, August 29, 2017

Trump declares "largest national disaster crowd ever" to see him in Texas

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By Darnell Washington, Newsophile Staff Writer CORPUS CHRISTI, TEXAS -- While addressing a crowd of victims of Hurricane Harvey in this g...
Wednesday, August 23, 2017

Trump strongly denies suggestion he has "early-onset...whatchamacallit"

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By Darnell Washington, Newsophile Staff Writer WASHINGTON -- Responding strongly to a suggestion by CNN commentator Ana Navarro that he ...
Monday, August 21, 2017

President Trump takes credit for 'the best solar eclipse in history'

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By Darnell Washington, Newsophile Staff Writer WASHINGTON -- President Trump, back in the White House after a 17-day 'working vacati...
Sunday, August 20, 2017

Chris Christie fashion calendar now for sale

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By Darnell Washington, Newsophile Staff Writer TRENTON, NJ -- Embattled New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, who recently learned that hi...
Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Cryptkeeper sues Kellyanne Conway in celebrity likeness lawsuit.

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By Darnell Washington, Newsophile Staff Writer NEW YORK, NY --Time Warner unit HBO, which produced the "Tales from the Crypt" ...
Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Clinton and Trump Scratch n' Sniff Dolls Announced by Mattel

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by Darnell Washington, Newsophile Staff Writer EL SEGUNDO, CA -- Leveraging the intense interest of the 2016 election for U.S. President j...
Friday, June 3, 2016

Donald Trump vows to ban pantsuits for women

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By Darnell Washington, Newsophile Staff Writer NEW YORK, NY -- In an apparent reaction to Hillary Clinton's speech attacking his forei...
Saturday, October 15, 2011

Herman Cain: "Stay Away from my Cadillac, my Hi-Fi and my color TV!"

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By Darnell Washington, Newsophile Staff Writer STOCKBRIDGE, GA -- Current GOP candidate Herman Cain, rising quickly in the polls as the resu...
Friday, October 7, 2011

Christian Leader: Jesus Christ is a Fact, Mormonism is Cult Fiction

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By Darnell Washington, Newsophile Staff Writer WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Immediately after introducing Texas Governor Rick Perry as a "genuin...
Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Rick Santorum battles Google, insists on cleanliness during sodomy

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By Darnell Washington, Newsophile Staff Writer LEESBURG, VA -- Former Senator and Presidential candidate Rick Santorum, who has been unsucce...
Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Michele Bachmann involved with own Twitter scandal

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By Darnell Washington, Newsophile Staff Writer WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Amidst the continuing drama centered around raising the national debt lim...
Thursday, July 21, 2011

"Where in the World is Casey Anthony?" game in development

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By Darnell Washington, Newsophile Staff Writer BOSTON, MA -- As a result of the enormous publicity surrounding the whereabouts of the infamo...
Monday, July 11, 2011

Betty Ford sex films released day before funeral

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By Darnell Washington, Newsophile Staff Writer LONDON, U.K. -- In an apparent bid to make sure the final issue of its scandal-plagued ...