ATLANTA, GA -- Although the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention maintains that the rising rates of childhood obesity in the United States are still a major conc

"Apparently many child molesters just hate fat kids," said Dave Dillon, Deputy Director of Media Relations for the CDC. "Although we were quite surprised by the results, we're excited that we finally found a potential solution to a problem that so far has not been solved by incarceration, therapy, Megan's Law lists or my personal favorite, chemical castration."
However, Ray Radow, a spokesman for the controversial North American Man-Boy Love Associat

But for Molly Hanford, a mother of two active boys in suburban Atlanta, the news is sure to bring some changes to her household. "Since my kids are thin and athletic, I need to protect them," she recently told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. "So starting tomorrow I'm pulling them out of soccer and baseball (prac

Although the CDC's Dillon doesn't recommend fattening children up to avoid pedophiles, he said the federal government does understand the reasoning behin
d this innovative solution to a growing national menace made infamous on the NBC show "To Catch a Predator."

"If you're going to gorge your children on burgers, fries, pizza and ice cream," he offers, "at least start with smaller portions. As they grow into adults and thus become quite unattractive to pedophiles, be sure to re-introduce them to healthy eating and exercise programs."