By Darnell Washington and Lillian Rasmussen, Newsophile Staff Writers
ORLANDO, FL -- Moments after hearing about the the not guilty verdict of Casey Anthony for killing her 2-year-old daughter three years ago, toddlers throughout Florida escaped local playgrounds, ran out of their homes and tore away from their parents' and babysitters' hands in order to stage what has been deemed 'the nation's first toddler flash mob riot.'
Anthony, 25, wept after the clerk read the verdict after less than 11 hours of deliberation over two days. Instead, she was convicted only of four counts of lying to investigators looking into the disappearance of her daughter in June of 2008. The report of the conviction of these minor offenses was met with was met with shock and anger among the state's pre-school population.
"I've never seen anything like this," said Miami Police Chief Juan Esposito. "Apparently these kids are really angry about this verdict, calling it 'our own OJ' and have decided to express themselves in public -- with and without Pampers." Proctor & Gamble, the company which makes Pampers, did not return phone calls but said in an email response that 'this storied diaper brand is one of peace and not violence. We ask that all clients wearing our diapers go to your rooms immediately.'
In South Miami, a crowd of approximately 500 truant preschoolers began turning over Smart Cars and throwing half-eaten ice cream cones against policemen attempting to quell the violence. Reports Police Sergeant Anna Ramirez, "The only thing that saved us was their sugar levels crashing, and suddenly everyone just sat down in the middle of the street and started crying. Wow, talk about a relief!"
According to spokesman Mikey Johnson, 4, of Azalea Park, a suburb of Orlando, he and his group of 20 followers didn't escape his pre-school yard to riot in the streets but to simply express their anger, stomping his feet repeatedly and yelling, "No! Not fair!"
Casey Anthony will be sentenced on Thursday, and could receive up to a year in jail for each count of lying.