By Lillian Rasmussen and Darnell Washington, Newsophile Staff Writers
CHICAGO, IL -- Following a controversial run since his first appearance in 2003, 'Staley da Bear,' the Chicago Bears' team official mascot, has recently been replaced with a new type of bear that majority team owner Virgina McCaksey concludes is more realistic.
"For years we had been getting fan letters from a different of 'bear' urging us for recognition," explained McCaskey, 85, who owns 80% of the team along with her family. "However, this type of bear isn't of the species ursus Americanus -- this one is distinctly human, along with a generous addition of hair -- and, of course, some sweet, tangy sweat."
However, the decision has been somewhat controversial among Bears franchise management. Complains Bears head couch Lovie Smith, "This is ridiculous. I've been hearing from a lot of really upset kids about this. Hairy, sweaty men instead of a cuddly stuffed animal? I don't think so."
Still, there are those groups who are sure to benefit from this change in mascot strategy. Says Randy Tranton, founder of Bear/Naked Chicago, "Hey, it's not a secret. We've been meeting in dens all over the city for 20 years. We're just happy to finally be recognized, and we're offering all Bears season ticket holders 20% off of our upcoming A Bear Christmastravaganza on December 24th. And yes, as tradition requires, everyone will be nude. I can't wait!"