Sunday, November 16, 2008

Mormons promising not to stop with preventing gay marriage

By Darnell Washington, Newsophile Staff Writer

SALT LAKE CITY, UT -- Following their successful support of California's Prop. 8, which outlawed marriage rights between same-sex couples, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints -- commonly known as the Mormon Church -- is promising further political activism in the United States.

"This was just Phase 1 in our long-range plan as personally laid out to me by the Archangel Moroni in the late 1990s," church president Thomas S. Monson recently told the Salt Lake Tribune. "With the full acceptance of our church by evangelical Christians, Roman Catholics and even by our African-American brothers and sisters whose dark skin was recently considered the curse of God as a sign of the unrighteous, we're hopeful that we can bring the truth of the Book of Mormon to the entire world."

In Phase 2, expected to begin in early 2009 and lasting through 2011, Monson hopes to achieve the following goals assigned to him by Moroni via gold plates:
  • Complete conversion of all U.S. citizens to the Church of Christ of Latter-day Saints, including having married couples re-married, properly "sealed" in a Mormon temple and dissolving any relationships with non-Mormons;
  • Halting the 'ridiculous practice' of persons praying directly to Jesus; and
  • Full recognition that God was once a man like us and lives on a planet near the star Kolob, that Christ will never return to earth in a year in which there has been a rainbow and that believers attaining the highest level of the celestial kingdom will rule over their own planets and have more than one wife.
"It's a long list, but Moroni thinks we can do it!" concluded Monson.