Saturday, January 16, 2010

Showtime to debut porn-oriented soap opera

By Jean-Paul Stanley Simmons, Special to Newsophile

NEW YORK -- Showtime officials have announced that "The Ripe and the Raw" will debut on the pay television service on June 9, 2011.

Billed as the first ever 'porn soap opera', the show will follow the "Ups and downs, ins and outs, and highs and lows of one of the richest industries on earth."

Starring Tera Patrick, Keeley Hazell, Jenna Jameson, Peter North, Ron Jeremy, and the stuffed corpse of Marilyn Chambers, the show promises to 'keep you up all night', have you 'on the edge of your seat', and keep you 'waiting with mastur-baited breath' for next week's episode.

"Putting us on Showtime allows for the ripeness and the rawness of what to do to really come up to the surface," stated Jameson.

"I'm totally up for this show!" said a clearly excited Peter North, "I can't wait to come in for shooting."

"I'm coming this weekend," said Ms. Hazell, "to begin fitting for costumes. In one of the episodes I have a big hump," apparently a reference to a Quasimodo scene she is in.

"Come and play!" was all Ms. Patrick could manage through a full mouth during the interview.

Richard Long, the show's producer, claims their audience will not only be treated to "great, gooey gobs of porn", but a real insider's look inside the dark moistness of what is surely a very popular guilty pleasure.