By Lillian Rasmussen and Darnell Washington, Newsophile Staff Writers
CHICAGO, IL -- In the last few weeks of the Presidential campaign, Democratic nominee Barack Obama thinks he's found the secret weapon to tip the balance in his favor in the South: the KKK. Arguing that the only thing that KKK members and supporters need is some "old-fashioned information whippin'," Obama's membership will grant him access otherwise unavailable to outsiders.
Because the Obama campaign recognizes the considerable controversy the membership might cause, it's already gearing up with a formidable defense. "Since he's half white, he's only been granted a half membership to our organization," said Peggy Hoffmeyer, the group's PR representative. "That means that although he can't enjoy the hosted bar or organize pro-white rallies, he can still communicate with our membership via email blasts, the U.S. mail, and our election eve 'white is good' phone bank."
Still livid with Republican nominee John McCain over his policy on immigration reform, Callahan thinks the KKK membership will embrace the group's new bumper stickers -- "Vote Barack Obama: the best half-white candidate we got" -- and turn out in force on election day.